There are much for me to do...but not doing it

You'll probably have heard the title above hundreds of times either from within ourself or from others. Its a sickness that is inside most of us. Commonly known as Lazy, couldn't be bothered attitude.

and with that I end my session ,,, hehehehe

I am not Sad

I am not sad and niether am I feeling the stressful life for not having what I want.

But, how do I describe this....

I am feeling like I have not contributed enough to this life neither do I have enough ration for the hereafter. Have I done enough to satisfy Allah or am I eligible for the Firdaus paradise allah promised for whom he pleased with? have I pleased Allah enough...?

Do I remember him enough every seconds of my life or have I spent it much worrying about money and debts? and devoting mylife for this wordly matters? Am I not happy for the things in this world that I don't get or the lack of my struggles for the heaven in the hereafter?

The more you struggle to be near to Allah than the harder the resistance holding you up. Verily, allah gives hidayah to whom he wishes. I am relax but my mind is about to erupt on the lack of my closeness to Allah. The more I learn about islam the more I realise that I know nothing. I realised of the weaknesses of my iman and the hugeness of Allah's rahmat in this world. In fact, you feel like you are worthlessness in the eyes of your lord which is the worst feeling and the value of his paradise is the biggest rahmat of all.

As I seek for Allah, I pray that Allah seek me back.... verily, Allah is the all knowing and the most merciful.

Mencari Kebahagian

Macam mana kita nak mencari kebahagian? In this life we as human being will always want to be happy in everything.. Kebahagian itu tidak datang seenaknya.

Kebahgian itu sebenarnya datang dari Allah. Allah sahaja lah yang akan memberikan kebahagiaan kepada kita dan kepadanya lah kita meminta. Dah apabila kita dekat pada Allah maka insyallah dia akan memberikan kita kebhagiaan itu, maka yakini lah...

Tetapi memang payah untuk kita sebenarnya yakin pada Allah. Iman itu kadang di atas dan kadang di bawah. Teruslah berusaha. MOga allah mebalasnya. Dan dia sahaja lah yang akan membalas dan maha penentu segalanya.

Fiction ...

ever wonder if you could write a fiction as good as those people making tons of money doing it? The lights of Dan Brown, Stephen King, David Baldacci etc... These people have the wildess imagination and a true story teller. U'll get cought in reading their stories of unexplain human capabilities, deception, mistery, misery. Combine with love and attraction, hate and disgust, sadness and happiness.

I tried to strat a few writing stunts few years back when I was a teenager hehe.. Back then I was reading a lot of Malay novel ( but not those cintan2 one) but more towards the saster and life. The likes of Salina by Usman Awang, Imam, and others,, nowadays its difficult to get good malay novel. Most of it are be filled with the cintan2 novel whcih sometimes can make me feel sick to me stomach hehe.. Tak habis2 dengan cinta, pitus rindu, lust, cemburu, di persimpangan dilema and all. When will us malay get up of this dream of lovey dovey thingy and snap out of it..

The story I was planning to write went something like this...
It started with a story of a hopeless, unwanted, and can't be bothered anymore attitude graduates who is seeking a whole new meaning in life. he wasn't sure of what or where he wants to go in this life, It was pretty much be around lepaking and having fun when possible until one fine day. Soemhting had happen that make him realised that something ened to be done in the life before it ended up as the unwanted soul.

That was it the idea.. the rest I havent made up yet. The end was suppose to be a happy one, Successful with big house and cars, plus a gourjesh wife and pretty/handsome kids hehe.. typical sucks!!!!